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dr3am3r_13

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Surv3y [Mar. 29th, 2006|12:16 pm]
[mood |tiredtired]
[music |R3NT]

ALL ABOUT YOU! FROM BASIC TO PERVERT
BASIC
name:DR3AM3R
nick:so-so
age:18
gender:F3mal3
where do you live?:N3w York
height:5 3v3n
weight:96-98 lbs
hair color:Black with red highlights
eye color:Haze\3l
birthday:March 2nd
study or work?:Study
hobbies?:Writting, B3ing on the n3t...
smoke:Nop3
tattoos:Not Y3t
piercings:My 3ars and naval
zodiac sign:Pisc3s
favorites one or more
color:Black, Silv3r, and Blu3
food:Anything Hispanic and Chin3s3
restaurant:Appleb33s
coffee:Non3
fruit:strawb3rri3s, rasb3rri3s
drink:P3psi
store:D3bs, Sp3nc3rs, Joyc3l3ss
brand:Non3
movie:R3NT
actor / actress:j-lo, mich3ll3 rodrigu3z, and a couple others
tv show:One Tr33 Hill, and Instant Star
movie:You all r3ady ask3d this.
music group:2 many 2 nam3
cd:R3nt soundtrack, Av3ntura, and Fr3nds with b3n3fits
song:Lov3 h3als.
website:myspac3
book:Amb3r and Ash3s
magazine:Dont have one
newspaper:Local
animal:whit3 tig3r and black phanter
flower:whit3 ros3
place to have a vacation:P.R
place to have a date:Anywh3r3
sport:Bas3ball
car:Cadillac 3XT, Ch3vy Avalanch3
clothes (formal, casual etc..):comfortabl3
Have you ever
been on a train:Y3s, to go to Boston
been on a plane:Yup... To P.R
been on another country:Do3s Canada count?
been lost:y3s i have
been in love:..... Yeah
been drunk:Oh Yeah.. lol
been high:Nope
been in jail:Never
broken the law:Yes
been on a fight:Not ON a fight. But i hav3 b33n IN a fight
cried in public:Nope
fallen in public:Once
pee in public:In public bathrooms yeah
throw up in public:Eww No
get sick of diarrea in the worst moment:YUCK no.
Personal questions
are you depressive?:Y3s i am
paranoic?:Nop3
obsesive compulsive?:No
another personality illness?:No
worst fear:Losing th3 p3opl3 i lov3
do you injury yourself? (cutting, etc..):not anymor3
do you have suicidal toughts?:again not anymor3
have you ever tried to commit suicide?:Not r3ally
have you ever think to kill somebody?:DUH!!!
at what age would you like to die?:lat3 80's 3arly 90's
the way you want to die:Qui3t, Quick and Painl3ss
do you hate somebody to death?:Not hat3 but dislik3
what do you hate the most in life:Th3 probl3ms
do you love somebody in a obsesive way?:Not in a obs3siv3 way
who?:mys3lf.. JK
do you want to get married?:Y3s
want to have children?:Y3ah at l3ast 3 or 4
want to live on another country?:Nop3
how do you imagine yourself in 5 years?:23 y3ars old. lol
are you materialist?:Nop3
do you believe in aliens?:No
do you believe in ghosts?:Y3s
your religion?:P3nt3costal
do you believe in life after death?:Som3tim3s
do you believe in love at first sight?:No.. Thats just Lust at first sight
reincarnation?:Som3tim3s
luck?:Som3tim3s
Sexuality
are you, gay, bi, straight?:Straight
have you ever been in love of someone of the same sex?:Nop3
have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?:Nop3
do you have homosexual fantasies?:No
do yuo have some paraphilia? (zoophilia, necrophilia) etc:Nop3
do you like sadomasoquism?:No
do you like to bite?:Y3ah
do you use sexual toys? (dildos, vibrators etc..):No
sex on the first date?:H3ll No!!!
turns you on:Non3 ya
turns you off:Smok3rs {still dat3 th3m though}, Cockyn3ss, and disr3sp3ct
an unsual place to have sex:In th3 living couch whil3 your mom is in th3 kitchen
you best sexual lover:No nam3
how many one night stands?:On3
favorite position:......
your sickness and pervert fantasy:Dont hav3 on3
some artist that turns you on:3min3m
do you like porno, hentai?:Nop3
LOVE
best date you ever had:I didnt lik3 going on dat3s
whit who?:h3s invisibl3
do you miss some ex boyfriend,girlfriend?:som3 3x boyfri3nds y3ah
have you ever been in love at first sight?:Nop3
been rejected by someone you love?:Nop3
suffer for someone who doesn´t deserve it?:Yup
are you in love right know?:Y3ah
the most crazy thing you do for love:Dont Know
the most stupid thing you do for love:Wait for th3m
been in love of an artist:Huh??
who?:....
your perfect, girl, boy:2many qualiti3s to writ3
the perfect date for you, describe it:just having fun with th3 p3rson
most romantic moment:just b3ing tog3th3r should b3 romantic
some ex you will nerver forget:TJ most d3f.
do you regret about been involved with some person?:i us3 to b3 but now im not.
do you prefer to be alone or to have a couple?:Alon3
some ex, you don´t want to see never again:H3ll Y3ah
who?:H3ctor
most humilliant moment on a date:Dont hav3 on3
worst date:Dont hav3 on3
have you ever been in love of some anime character?:I dont watch Anim3
do you like to flirt a lot?:Y3ah
do you like serious relations, or you prefer to have frees?:Both
are you jealous?:who isnt?
you prefer somebody with a great personality or someboy that looks so good?:both if possibl3... Gr3at p3rsonality
how do you consider yourself? atractive, average, not good looking:av3rag3
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Past R3-op3n3d [Mar. 27th, 2006|11:52 am]
[mood |chipperchipper]
[music |Lov3 H3als ~ R3NT]

Do you ever wonder why people come back into your life at the weirdest times? I mean really. Sometimes you sit around like your having a normal day but in the end it doesn't turn out to be so normal because you end up hearing from someone that you haven't heard from in ages, someone who you use to have feelings for once and were never able to express it. Do you ever wonder why they came back at that time or why you are able to tell them so freely now what you couldn't tell them before when they were right in front of you?

Unfortunately I have. My friend Tony called me yesterday and all these questions that I hadn't had before began to rise. Now this is a guy who in 10th grade I had the mean crush on. He was in 12th and was leaving that year and to top things off I was with his friend. This might sound mean but the truth is I never wanted to be with his friend. I don't even know why I was, the one that I really wanted to be with was with him. Hector was an ass and everyone saw it and what attracted me to Tony was that he was the exact opposite of hector. He was sweet, funny, caring, and he was a romantic Rican too so that was a plus for me. But that to me was like a fairy tale it was one of those stories that you which could happen but don't. They are the once that you day dream about but that in the end that's all they are, just some type of dream. And I was like what 15 and he was 17 so you know at that age it's a big thing. And to me that's what it was a big thing, and I never thought that he would like me anyway so I thought nothing of it. I stayed his friend even though sometimes it killed me because I would see him flirting with other girls and stuff and you know at that age your like "why can't that be me" and that's how I was. He was there trough so much of the things that I had to deal with in 10th and 11th grade, especially when it came to what happened with Hector he was there keeping my head up. But then out of the blue we lost contact, I stopped hearing from him and seeing less and less of him and we grew distant. A couple of months ago I found his cell number and decided to give it a try not thinking that it would still even be the same number but it was. And we talked for a while and got caught up I wanted to see him really bad so you can imagine my surprise when he told me that he didn't live in New York anymore. I was hurt, sad, but then again I was happy for him because he was making something of himself. But he didn't even say bye, and I never even got a chance to say bye. I called him once more after that and hung up with him promising to call soon but he never did. Again I grew worried and wondered if everything was ok especially since when I called his cell nobody would ever pick it up. But I let time slip it from my mind and I went about doing my normal things in life. Then yesterday sitting down on the computer talking to my friend the phone rings. That didn't seem all that weird to me since the phone is always ringing at my house but you can imagine my surprise when I hear my mom screaming "TONY!!" my heart stopped and starting beating a thousand times per minute. I didn't think it was him so I just stayed on my computer silent until I hear my mom call my name, I went to her room and picked up the phone expecting someone else and there I hear his voice saying hi. My heart literally did flips. I was in shock and happy and so many things all at once. We started talking and things went from talking about how we were to things that had happened in the high and how much we missed those times to him asking me how I never noticed that he liked me… can you imagine what I felt at that moment? I had to sit down for real because I was too surprised. I told him how I couldn't because he always had a girl on his arms. I find it weird how things finally open up after so many years.

I hate the fact that I know all of this now instead of knowing it then because now I'm left with the "what ifs?" and I never liked that. I wonder what could have happened if maybe I wasn't so scared to tell him how I felt for him or if maybe he would have told me. I'll admit to say this that him and me would have been good together. We had a good connection and a strong enough history that maybe things would have worked out. But now that is unable to happen because he is too far away. I know that things are going to get bad though. I know myself well enough to know that if I keep talking to him I will again start to have feeling for him, and wish that he was up here. I will put us in situations that are never going to happen and I'm just going to depress myself with the outcome of how things are.

But why now? Why after all these years did god put him in my path? Everything happens for a reason I will always tell myself that but sometimes I wish I knew the reason, and how strange that all this happened after everything with Charles. I do not wish to set myself up, again, for something that I know will just most likely end in heart ache again. Why do things happen when you aren't prepared for them? I don't even know what I am going to do, but ill find out. Let's see what life has in store now huh?

Thanks for reading this long ass thing and the new dramas of my life. lol.


$DR3AM3R$
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